Yes, It's 4AM and I'm awake. I've been in one of my insomniac ruts lately but I actually did manage to go to sleep this morning just after 12AM. LRL woke us up at 3AM to let us know that Miranda Cecilia had arrived (congrats to MRL and SFL). So now I'll be going into work on 3 hours of sleep on top of my existing sleep deficit. I'm so tired.
My heart is also heavy because I'm thinking of my friend CB. We're online friends, we met through LibraryThing. She occasionally reads my blog and I hers. Her energy is just so vivid that it comes through the computer and I enjoy her presence. This week she found out that her mother has skin cancer. She's very afraid right now and I understand that, having been through it myself. I guess all those feelings are surfacing again. I can remember exactly where I was when Daddy told me he had cancer. I was having my wedding dress altered in Lexington when he called. Nearly all of my memories about my wedding are bittersweet. I feel guilty over how much he was suffering and how largely oblivious I was to it. But he intentionally hid most of it from me and I do feel anger over that instead of thankfulness. And then guilt over the anger. So many complex emotions. I didn't know what to say to CB except that I was praying for her and her family. I guess that's really all that I can do at this time.
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